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Writer's pictureJim Stewart

Die LOL!

Updated: Sep 25, 2019

I joked with a friend the other day about his company's removal of the word "adult" from the product's name.

"Now you can pitch millennials with your nut butter", I said to my probably Gen Y (millennial) friend.

He laughed and typed a note on his cell phone to his business partner.

I admitted to my laughing friend that my wife and I actually house (sponsor?) a millennial. Suggesting that this baby boomer (sexagenarian) is qualified to judge.

I am not qualified to judge millennials.

In my day we moved out of the house at age 18 or sooner if possible.

In my day a studio apartment in Denver, Colorado was $32/week.

In my day gas was 25 cents a gallon. (We didn't say "per" back in the day.)

In my day we worked as many minimum-wage jobs as we needed to take care of ourselves, to live independently of our (oppressive, duh!) parents. I worked a day job as a bank teller and a night job as a drunk-hosting, fast-food restaurant-closing, night manager.

Minimum wage back then was $1.65 an hour.

At 3 AM I crashed my single bed.

Awoke for my 9AM bank job to hear my already drunk landlord scream eviction at me for violating the stupid, standing, no-food-in-room, house rule. Moments later, his sober, apologist wife waved his threat off.

This, every day.

For the few months I managed to sustain such a ludicrous work schedule and 'life.'

All so I could pay my studio apartment's $32/mo rent.

And behind our beloved millennials, there's always Gen Z, next up to bat.

To home run or to strike out? Definitely to play.

Because you have to play.

Static wages; skyrocket rents.

Life should be more, oh I don't know, livable.

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